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As I Lay Dying by Russell L. Blaylock, MD

I always liked the title to William Faulkner 1930 novel’s As I Lay Dying—not necessarily the book, just the title. There is an old saying, that “the first rains will not come to settle the clogs of dirt on your grave before you will be forgotten.” In most cases that is true. Very famous people will be remembered for their accomplishments, but as persons, that is, as to who they really are, will remain unknown. (Even if you read their biography.)

As we enter the end of our lives in old age, we begin to see things a lot more clearly. It was said that approaching death concentrates one’s mind. It is true. And as we near the end, some have written that we should take a legal pad and make two columns—one, the things you did that were good and the other, list of the things that were bad. Often the bad list is much longer.

My dad, a man I considered to be of great wisdom, once said to me that when you come to the end of your life you should look back with few regrets. He also said, few will accomplish this. He was right.

Dr. James I. Ausman, did a personal study of the great religions over history that he shared with a few friends, and he concluded that all discussed the “golden rule” as the moral basis of their understanding. Jesus says as much—which we repeat often—“Do unto others as we would have done unto us.” Or more accurately, “Use the same measure of judgment for others that you use for yourself.”

During my life I have been very fortunate to know several great people, people of great accomplishments, knowledge, and wisdom. I now can say that two of these people meet all these criteria and much more. One of them is Dr. Miguel A. Faria and the other is Dr. James I. Ausman, both neurosurgeons, but much more.

Miguel, I met in 1976 when he was a medical student during my training as a neurosurgery resident. Miguel had emigrated from communist Cuba with his family. We spent many hours discussing communism and the world situation. We have been friends for nearly half a century. Miguel was one of the best-read persons I had ever known.  Besides being a skillful and knowledgeable neurosurgeon, he was an incredible historian. Anyone who has read any of his many books is aware of this fact.

Dr. James Ausman, who has been the head of several neurosurgery programs, a dedicated, skilled neurosurgeon and teacher, became my close friend more than a decade ago. Jim, as I call him, is also enormously well read, has a Ph.D. in pharmacology, and recently was the head of neurosurgery at UCLA. He founded and owns one of the best international neurosurgery journals in the world, Surgical Neurology International, an open access journal of neurosurgical ideas and technique, neuroscience, and medical social and political opinion. He also has an associated website that covers all aspects of teaching and learning of these subjects. I once told him I wish I had access to his videos of neurosurgical techniques and lecturers by experts from all over the world when I was in training.

Both Drs. Faria and Ausman are dedicated to truth, and Dr. Ausman will publish all opinions in his journal, as long as they are honest, well written, and based on facts. The same is true of Dr. Faria, who has this wonderful website of deep learning in a variety of subjects—from science and medicine to philosophy and politics—for all who are interested.

One of the worst events of my life was the death of my father. We were very close. I saw him as a man of great wisdom, always searching for the truth and a man who taught me much. My father taught me many things, the most important was that a person’s family was the most import thing in life other than a person’s religion—love of God. Soon after his death my mother died.

My mother was a very principled person, who believed that a parent’s duty was to generate moral, decent, and loving children. I miss her greatly. Next in line in death were my father and mother-in-law. I admired and loved them both.

As painful as these deaths were, the most painful was the death of my youngest grandson. He died just before his 8th birthday of a medulloblastoma. I never cried so much as I did at his funeral. My wife and I cry often remembering that precious little boy. He was one of my oldest son’s, his youngest boy, Finn.

He was the most fun, best, kindest boy ever. Most important, he was the bravest. He never cried and met his death better than anyone I have ever met. Finn died at home. Life will never be the same for any of us after he died. I gave the eulogy at my father’s, my mother’s, my oldest brother’s, and my sister’s only boy’s funerals. I could barely stand or speak at Finn’s funeral. That was a eulogy I could not give.

Yet, each of these deaths taught me something: Life is a gift from God. Among all physicians, older physicians saw this clearly; even a month that the patient wanted was always worth the effort of the doctor. Today, many doctors do act as impersonal “gods.” They feel they are the custodians of life and will make all such decisions, despite the wishes of the family, the patient, or the personal doctor. That is a very sad commentary, especially when they are acting as agents of other powerful entities such as the government or corporations. Today, it is worse than ever. COVID was a turning point is medical care. Patients were made to die in hospitals alone; patient’s and family wishes were ignored, and many hospitals became—“killing centers.” Studies have shown that many patients died at home rather than go to a hospital to die alone. Without anyone stating it, it is a shortcut to euthanasia, but this time on steroids.

Lifesaving medications were denied by hospitals and pharmacies, early treatments were denied and medications that all doctors should have known were deadly were literally forced on patients. Unfortunately, we have just seen the tip of the iceberg. In some areas, even families were not allowed to comfort loved ones at a funeral because of idiotic CDC-imposed rules. Police acted like automatons in enforcing these rules rather than refusing, and most stores and local governments abided, no matter how many studies demonstrated the ridiculousness or danger of the CDC rules. It was much like a mania of fear.

No matter the credential and expertise of those opposing these deadly rules and orders, they were first ignored and now attempts are made to imprison those who spread “misinformation,” especially when they are the only source of this, so-called, misinformation.

Excellent medical articles pointing out these dangers are retracted by journals, especially if they refer to the deadly vaccines. Pharmacies, for the first time, have refused to fill a life-saving medication (Ivermectin) even when prescribed by a physician. This included private pharmacies outside hospitals. Their licenses should be revoked.

Physicians who refuse to play the deadly game with their patients or even suggest an alternative have their license removed and are thrown out of medical societies. Medical societies have shown their true colors by not representing the best interest of the patients or doctors, and they should be abandoned. This covers virtually all specialties. In essence, many are endorsing the harming or killing of patients. This is also true of hospital administrators who require all people working in a hospital to be injected with a so-called “vaccine” that have never been property tested, are full of contaminants and, as a result, have killed a tremendous number according to the best kept records. According to careful studies, 17 million people worldwide have died as a result of the “vaccines,” and it crippled at least 2 billion people.

It is now obvious that this, a long-time dream of the elite, such as Henry Kissinger, to depopulate the world by killing the elderly, the chronically ill, and the unborn. This all sounds very familiar—it was Hitler and his staff’s dream as well. Of course, they never include themselves in this program. To them “immortality” is the name of the game for the elite. In China, it was recently disclosed, the elderly communist leaders had up to 5 organ transplants in an effort to live at least to age 150 years. Only, to the elite, the common people, are to be eliminated, as in Maui. We must wake up. Dr. Mike Yeadon, a former science office at Pfizer Pharmaceuticals, said it well when he recently stated that “evil psychopaths” carefully planned this world disaster. This time we must wake up.

Additional Reading:
1. Vivien Spitz, Doctors from Hell (Boulder, CO: Sentient Publications, 2005).
2. Robert Jay Lifton, The Nazi Doctors: Medical Killing and the Psychology of Genocide (New York: Basic Books, 2017).
3. Alexander COVID News-Dr. Paul Elias Alexander’s Newsletter, “Dr. Mike Yeadon Comments on ‘Ursula von der Leyen: ‘We Vaccinated a Continent!’ ” September 19, 2023.

Written by Dr. Russell L. Blaylock

Russell L. Blaylock, M.D. is the president of Theoretical Neuroscience Research, LLC, Canton, Mississippi, a retired neurosurgeon, and the Associate Editor-in-Chief of the Neuro-Inflammation section of Surgical Neurology International (SNI). He has written numerous path-blazing scientific papers and books, including Excitotoxins: The Taste That Kills (1994), Bioterrorism: How You Can Survive (2001), Health and Nutrition Secrets (2002), Natural Strategies for Cancer Patients (2003), and The Liver Cure (2022).

This article may be cited as: Blaylock, RL. As I Lay Dying., September 29, 2023. Available from:

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